Your thoughts create your reality—you’ve no doubt heard this before. So what happens when reality doesn’t fit with what you had hoped or envisioned?
People spend thousands on therapy trying to work out the answer to this question. Some of us take the opportunity to whine to friends about the situation. You may have tried denying, ignoring, blaming, criticizing, begging, pleading, bargaining and believing in the wisdom of a higher source, all in the name of trying to come to terms with this simple truth: Life does not always go the way you want or expect it to.
Healing, or aligning with your inner wisdom, is not an intellectual process.
It’s an experience, a feeling one. And feelings are processed in the body. When you make a formal practice out of calling in the energies you would like to invite into your life, you are actually embodying a new way of being. It’s not about magical thinking. It is a way of trying on a new attitude, like a new set of clothes.
The more clearly you can visualize—and feel– the experience, the closer you are to living it. The Tibetans recognize this in their elaborate visual meditations. It’s a practice. You practice imagining with the whole being the new attitude you wish to attain. It’s not about manifesting gold watches or a fleet of Rolls Royces, it’s about shifting to a new attitude that makes these things a possibility.
When your relationship to your experience is underdeveloped, important signs and messages may go under the radar, creating our reality without your awareness. This is why for years I cried to my girlfriends that I had no steady love relationship: because I had no love relationship with myself. And I couldn’t see this. I was abusing myself daily in various subversive ways, and then acting surprised when the people around me followed my lead and treated me in exactly the same disrespectful way.
The first step in understanding how your thoughts create your reality is to see the ways that you are already manifesting your reality, unconsciously. Healing any issue is learning to see what it is you are doing to get in your own way. How do you speak to yourself? How do you treat your body? Do you honour your experience and needs? We teach the world how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves.
Seeing your part
Once you see how you get in the way, you can transform negative patterns by developing practices that allow you to re-program body and mind. Yoga and meditation. Dialogue with a trusted guide who can mirror back to you truths that you may not see. You train the mind to choose positive pathways, using the vehicle of the breath. Breath is the inspiration that ignites the healing process.
When you discover what your direct experience is, without the filter of your lost child or your judgmental peers or your critical parent, then you will also discover your truth. The truth of who you are and what you are here to offer: your gifts, strengths and talents. The struggle to discover these gifts is the process by which you become a whole person, an adult capable of making your own choices and creating your own reality.
So what I hope for you, for us, for the coming year is an alignment with your true original nature, and that this alignment will guide you to your deepest joy. When you act in integrity with your inner truth, the universe holds open doors for you like a true gentleman. So stop trying to fit your life into someone else’s mould. Live your life fearlessly in the way that only YOU are meant to live. Your unique circumstances hold gifts that only you can share. So embrace them, love them, love yourself, and we will all benefit.
Here are three ways to get support with this process:
- How to Make a Fabulous Living Teaching, Traveling (and Saving) the World E-course. Add your name to the mailing list to find out when the next course is.
- Contemplative Coaching: Individual coaching and counseling
- Join me on an upcoming retreat