When You Lose Your Way

When You Lose Your Way

Does it feel like the world is getting crazier? The pace of life has accelerated so much that it’s hard to know what to focus on these days. Thanks to technology, what I used to accomplish in a day now takes 15 minutes. But rather than enjoying the other 23 hours and 45 minutes, somehow those hours are now filled with other things, like fretting about what’s not getting done. Honestly, I’m fed up.

Am I the only one who feels that life at this pace is overwhelming?

When you lose your way, go back to the last place you were not lost.

Years ago on my first back-country ski tour, my then-boyfriend and I got lost just as the sun was setting. We realised we were going around in circles and could not find the trail that led back to our car. We had no emergency supplies with us, and I was a newbie, so had zero back-country experience. It was snowing. We were cold, tired and hungry. I panicked. Let me tell you, when panic sets in like that, it is nearly impossible to calm your mind. And a calm mind is exactly what you need to get you out of that situation.

If you find yourself in a situation that has evolved to a point where you lose your way, calm yourself, think back to the last time you knew, and backtrack to see where you strayed.

Observe the Signs.

Sometimes the path gets unclear and you lose your way. At that point you practice awareness for a while before the path reveals itself again. Doors shut. Sometimes there are delays before the next one opens. On that infamous ski-trip, we back-tracked to the last turn we recognised, and luckily, we eventually ran into another skier who showed us the way out before nightfall. Rather than rushing blindly forward and going around the circle again, we had to stop and pay close attention to the terrain.

I’ve had alot of conversations in the past few months with people who are making major life changes. I may be one of them. I’m starting to see through the busy-ness I’ve created around striving to make things happen. I’m noticing how hollow life can feel when I forget to be here now. Apart from writing and painting, I am currently refraining from creating anything.

Trust the Process.

So at the moment, my practice is to trust the process, be patient while things evolve and enjoy where I am. There is great joy and relaxation in this phase of evolution, if (and only if) you can trust.

That said, it can be helpful to have a road map for when you lose your way – something to provide structure to your time in the bardo, that phase between one incarnation and the next.

Here are some tips for how to stay calm while you negotiate the passage.

  1. Breathe
    Calm your nervous system and connect with your subtle body through a breath based practice: yoga, pranayama, or shamatha meditation are all excellent choices. 
  2. Practice Radical Awareness
    Watch for signs in your environment.  Listen to words and phrases that come your way, especially things that repeat themselves. Sometimes messages come from people – pay attention to how things resonate. Sometimes the biggest messages are casual comments that suddenly unlock big meaning.
  3. Check In With Guides
    Schedule an appointment with your therapist or coach. Go see your teacher. Call old and trusted friends to check in.
  4. Be Patient Let the process unfold at its own pace. And, I am going to strongly suggest: GET OFF OF SOCIAL MEDIA for a period of time. I just returned from a trip to the wilderness areas of Utah and Colorado which allowed me to be totally offline for nearly 3 weeks. It was one of the best things I’ve done in years. It’s amazing how distorted our view of reality can be when we are surfing Facebook all day. Please, do yourself a favour and take a break. The world will go on without you.
  5. Be Gentle
    It can feel hard to be a grown up and suddenly not know what comes next. It’s tempting to look around us and see others succeeding, doing wonderful things and apparently doing them without effort. (This is another reason to get off of social media – to stop comparing yourself to others.) Recognize that you have your own set of gifts and challenges, and that your life’s trajectory will not look like anyone else’s. Love and appreciate your own unique journey.
  6. Take Care of Yourself
    Long walks in nature, hot baths, swimming, bike rides, massage, green smoothies, acupuncture, long periods of shavasana. Read good books. Take time off from ALL technology. Tend to your body by giving it good food, exercise, pampering and rest. 

How do you negotiate the path when you lose your way? Share with us in the comments below!

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10 Responses to When You Lose Your Way

  1. Kim, I love this and just have to share something that happened today….

    Today I spilled red nail polish on the carpet AND on my 4 yr old granddaughter….I was trying to get it off her leg and I said, Emmie I dont know if I can get this off.

    She paused a moment and then whispered…..trust.

    out of the mouths of babes.

    love you and thank you so much for sharing this piece of your heart.

  2. Yes it’s crazy out there! I love you Kim! Thank you for always bringing me home to myself.

  3. Yes trust! Thanks for sharing Keanu. Hope all well and that you got the stain out! much love. xx

  4. Kim, your wise emails always arrive at just the right moment and get me back on track! Miss you. Bridget

  5. Thanks my dear! Miss you too Bridget! Hope all well and look forward to an update soon….xxx

  6. I love reading you and you are very kind person and a Master in your discipline. Thanks for giving it away to others. Ages ago a yoga class was held in Paris and I attended one of your classes. I like to learn and live a life of mindfulness so I could teach it to my 6 year old.

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